n Hockey Hall of Famer Bobby Hull, at an awards dinner in Chicago, on growing up with 10 siblings: "I never slept alone till I got married."

Source: Chicago Sun-Times

n Stacey Case, founder of Toronto‘s Pillow Fight League, which has grown to 13,000 female participants: "We have had offers to take this to nudie bars, but we're not interested. We are not going to let people ruin the good name of the Pillow Fight League."

Source: Glasgow (Scotland) Daily Record

n Avram Grant, manager of England’s Chelsea soccer club, after being ripped by his predecessor, Jose Mourinho: "Does it surprise you he opened his mouth? You go to a restaurant sometimes, you know why the fish is on the table? Because it opened its mouth."

Source: Alan Brazil Sports Breakfast radio show in Britain

n Jean Hirst, a 72-year-old former sprinter in Long Eaton, England, had no problem getting her purse back after a teen girl grabbed it and took off running: "Suddenly I felt 18 again. The adrenaline just kicked in and I seemed to turn back the years. She had a head start but I covered 70 yards in about 15 seconds and was within two strides of her when she looked over her shoulder and saw me. ... The look on her face was one of sheer amazement, and she just threw my bag aside."

Source: London Telegraph

n Mike Tyson is working on a tell-all book, one he said he began while in prison: “Me and my cellmate would read to each other at night,” he said. “One night I would read out loud to him, the next night he would read out loud to me. And we would do that back and forth until the book was completed.”

Source: New York Post

n Darryl Strawberry, in an excerpt from his upcoming book about his fast times as a New York Mets start in the 1980s: “We were the boys of summer. The drunk, speed-freak, sneaking-a-smoke boys of summer. (An) infamous rolling frat party . . . drinking, drugs, fights, gambling, groupies.”

Source: New York Post

n U.S. skier Lindsey Vonn, who knocked herself out of a World Cup slalom event when she sliced her thumb opening a champagne bottle, leaving a four-stitch gash: “I really think I’m safer skiing 85 miles per hour.”

Source: Associated Press

n Comedian Frenchie McFarlane, with some words of advice after "Dancing with the Stars" chose former Giants linebacker Lawrence Taylor as a contestant: "Do not — I repeat, do not — tell him to go break a leg."

Source: Seattle Times

n New University of Tennessee coach Jon Gruden, on getting crushed by Simeon Rice and some other players after the Tampa Bay Buccaneers fired him: I remember when Mike Holmgren left Green Bay, they were killing him. I remember when Bill Walsh left, what Joe (Montana) said about him. So this happens. When you’re the head coach, you coach 53 people, and their wives and their girlfriends and their families and all those people. So I’m not going to worry about it. Yeah, I’m disappointed that I’m a ’scumbag’ and that I couldn’t get along with the quarterback (when) I live my life through the quarterback.”

Source: Associated Press

n Pete Rose, on Alex Rodriguez’s confession: “I was a little surprised that A-Rod did that in 2001, 2002 and 2003. I don’t want to listen to all this B.S. on ESPN about how he was a kid and didn’t know what he was doing and stuff like that. I mean, you did it. You admitted it. Go on with your life.”

Source: Sirius XM Radio

n Leonard Downie Jr., who went on to become executive editor of The Washington Post, recalled covering the Ohio State football team for the school paper back when Woody Hayes was the coach: "If the team lost or tied, he would conduct an interview in the nude. He was an ugly guy, so it would clear the locker room out pretty fast."

Source: The Lantern, Ohio State’s student newspaper

n NBC's Conan O'Brien, on Alex Rodriguez blaming the pressure of his record contract for resorting to performance-enhancing drugs: "Which makes you wonder what kind of steroids Oprah is on."

Source: NBC TV

n CBS's David Letterman: "Trouble at the Madison Square Garden dog show. A Yorkie was pistol-whipped by a rat."

Source: CBS TV

n Seattle Times reader Bill Littlejohn, after Grand Rapids (Mich.) Press sports columnist David Mayo was charged with growing marijuana in his home: "Police also confiscated one of his puff pieces."

Source: Seattle Times

n Manchester City soccer fan Christopher Atkinson was so carried away when his team signed Brazilian star Kaka, he got “Kaka” Tattooed across his chest: "I got carried away by the emotion of him coming here, [but] I won't get rid of it. I'll just hang back a bit next time, hopefully for someone like Lionel Messi."

Source: London Sun

n Kobe Bryant, after teaming with old teammate/rival Shaquille O‘Neal to lead the West to victory in the All-Star Game and sharing the MVP honor: “We are not going to go back to the room and watch ‘Steel Magnolias’ or something like that, you know what I’m saying, crying, all that stuff. We had a good time. That’s all.”

Source: Associated Press

n Unemployed catcher Ivan Rodriguez, when asked he is one of the unnamed 103 players on the list of those who tested positive in 2003, a list made famous by the leaking of the news that Alex Rodriguez is on that list: “Only God knows.”

Source: Associated Press

n New Mets reliever Francisco Rodriguez: “This is a different year and different ballclubs now. I don’t want to make any controversy, but with me and (J.J.) Putz and the additions in the bullpen, I feel like now we are the team to beat.”

Source: New York Daily News

n Columnist Gary Loewen, on a sure sign that spring training is just around the corner: "Next week, pitchers and catchers and pharmacists report." Source: Toronto Sun Columnist Greg Cote: “The Marlins are set to open spring training next week, and the artist renderings of the team’s new stadium are out. I can attest to the accuracy of the drawings, because in them all of the seats are empty.”

Source: Miami Herald

n Judge Gene Ricciardi joined in the revelry as Steelers wideout Santonio Holmes, the Super Bowl MVP, came to court in a marijuana possession case: "I want to commend you for donating your receiver gloves to charity. It shows you have a strong character."

Source: Pittsburgh Tribune-Review

n Wizards coach Ed Tapscott is open to taking advice from President Obama, who recently attended a game: "He's the first man so if he wants to draw up a play, I'll certainly take it.”

Source: Washington Post

n NASCAR driver A.J. Allmendinger and his wife Lynne own a Labrador Retriever named Misty who had a starring role in the movie “Marley and Me”: "I’m a race car driver, Lynne is a licensed chiropractor but I think we’re going to be known simply as Misty’s parents.”

Source: PaddockTalk.com

n U.S. ski jumper Bill Demong, who was disqualified from the Nordic skiing world championships in the Czech Republic last week because he couldn't find his bib:
"It's my fault. I'm an idiot."

Source: Los Angeles Times

n Tennis pro James Blake is superstitious: "I don't shave once I win. I always used the same shower in the locker room. I drink my drinks in the same order: first the Gatorade, then the water. I get the balls from the same ball kid when I haven't been broken [on serve]. I eat the same breakfast every day after I win the first match.”

Source: Tennis magazine

n Torii Hunter mistook new Angels teammate Eddie McKiernan: "I thought he was a clubhouse guy. I can't believe he's 19. He looks like he's about 12. He makes me feel old, very old. When I was drafted, he was 3."

Source: Los Angeles Times

n Columnist Jerry Greene: “I was really hoping Tiger Woods would have grimaced and clutched his knee after his first drive. No telling how many Tour executives would have fainted.”

Source: Orlando Sentinel

 

n NASCAR driver Kevin Harvick: “We’re not adjusting to the downfall of our sport. We’re adjusting to a downfall in the world.” Source: Orlando SentinelLate-night talk show host Jimmy Kimmel: “If you had a party, it seems to me the last person you want to hit the bong is Michael Phelps, with the lung capacity of a humpback whale."

Source: ABC TV

n TNA wrestler Kurt Angle on disgraced Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich: “He’s innocent until proven guilty. As the leader of the Main Event Mafia, I am a huge fan of the Illinois style of politics. As such, Gov. Blagojevich is welcome to join me and the entire Main Event Mafia at any and all TNA events in the future, and certainly is welcome to sell his seat with us should he choose not to accept our generous offer.”

Source: St. Louis Post-Dispatch

n NBC analyst Tiki Barber, dismissing the classic Super Bowl showdown: “If they played this game in the regular season, it would be a [regional] game, and no one would watch.”

Source: NBC TV

n Columnist Dwight Perry, after Bowling Green forward Dominique "Niki" McCoy was charged with DUI, driving with a suspended license, failure to use turn signals and having an open liquor container in her car: “School publicists say it's her first quadruple-trouble.”

Source: Seattle Times

n Columnist Brad Dickson, on Terrell Owens' new reality TV series: "If they make Owens eat insects, get humiliated by a fifth-grader, get berated for his singing ability and dancing ability, get dropped on an island full of poisonous snakes, and at the end someone says, 'You're fired' — I'm watching."

Source: Omaha World-Herald

n Second-year Steelers coach Mike Tomlin was in no hurry to see the trophy after his team won the Super Bowl for a sixth time: "I see five every day at work. I know what it looks like."

Source: CBSSports.com

n Ex-NBA star Reggie Miller says he came up short playing one-on-one games as a kid against his older sister, but playing H-O-R-S-E was a different story: "All I had to do was go back into my mom's rose garden and shoot some long-range jump shots and I could get the letters on Cheryl."

Source: Seattle Times

n White Sox broadcaster Ken "Hawk" Harrelson says there's a good reason he doesn't spend his offseasons in Chicago anymore: "When I lived up here in the winter, I used to complain all the time about the weather and not being able to play golf. One year, about Feb. 1, I came down for breakfast and there was a plane ticket on the table. That was my wife's way of saying she couldn't listen to me anymore."

Source: Chicago Daily Herald

n Billionaire Eugene Melnyk, chafing at criticism of his underperforming Ottawa Senators: "Anybody that says we should blow up this organization should get their own bomb and go blow themselves up, OK?"

Source: Toronto Globe & Mail

n Late-night talk show host Conan O'Brien, on pundits comparing the hoopla over Barack Obama's presidential inauguration to that of the Super Bowl: "Yeah. The only difference is that the New York Jets had a chance to go to the inauguration."

Source: NBC TV

n Distance runner Katie McGregor: "I'm a little paranoid about germs. I won't eat food that's out in bowls because everyone sticks their hands in there. I've also used paper towels to open doors."

Source: Runner’s World magazine

n NBA analyst Doug Collins: “Kobe Bryant can miss 10 straight and think he's hot, that's the beauty of great players.”

Source: TNT TV

n Bo Jackson on life at Auburn with Charles Barkley: "Any time the pizza truck came and was going to the basketball players' room, the football players would go up and not ask for pizza, but demand pizza. They were living in our dorm. Barkley was smart. Barkley would call up and he would order three pizzas, two for him and one for the football players coming in."

Source: Palm Springs Desert Sun

n British soccer referee Gary Bailey, after a fan brought a talkative parrot nearly onto the field at a match between Hatfield Town and Hertfordshire Rangers:: "I've never known anything like it. This woman was standing right by the touchline and suddenly unveiled this big green parrot. Every time I blew my whistle the bird made exactly the same sound. The players all stopped so I had to ask her to move the parrot. I've never sent off a parrot before."

Source: ananova.com

n Jennifer Figge, 56, after she became the first woman to swim across the Atlantic Ocean, said she will return home to Colorado, where her Alaskan Malamute waits: "My dog doesn't know where I am. It's time for me to get back home to Hank."

Source: Associated Press

n An unidentified Cincinnati police officer, during an arrest of Mississippi basketball coach Andy Kennedy for assault, after Kennedy pleaded with the officer by saying the arrest would be a national story: "You think we've never arrested somebody that's made national media? ... We deal with the Bengals all the time."

Source: ESPN.com

n Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert, in an e-mail to the Associated Press after Cavs point guard Mo Williams was left off the NBA’s Eastern Conference All-Star team: “Ben Wallace was rightwhen he called Mo originally being passed over for the All-Star Game a havocker. But not naming him as the natural and obvious replacement for the unfortunately injured Jameer Nelson is stupidiculous, idillogical and preposterageous."

Source: Associated Press

n Steelers running back Willie Parker, 28, when asked if he was a fan of Bruce Springsteen, after Springsteen performed at halftime of the Super Bowl: “Um... I never heard of him.”

Source: Fox Sports Net TV

n Cary Stolarczyk, on his response when he won $1 million from the Illinois Lottery because the seat he sat in at a Blackhawks game came with the stipulation that he would win the money if the home team scored with exactly 10 minutes to play: “I could not believe it. I think there was a lot of cursing . . . glad my mother wasn't there.”

Source: Chicago Sun-Times

n Academy Awards host Hugh Jackman, on actress Meryl Streep's record 15 career Oscar nominations: "I hate to say it, but someone puts up numbers like that, it's just hard not to think: steroids."

Source: CBS TV Seattle Times reader

n Bill Littlejohn, after Cubs manager Lou Piniella revealed he once flunked a college square-dancing course: "He kicked sand on his partner."

Source: Seattle Times

n Rangers outfielder Josh Hamilton, quitting smokeless tobacco: "You know it's bad when your 3-year-old holds up a water bottle and asks if daddy spit in this before she drinks out of it."

Source: Dallas Morning News

n Tigers pitcher Dontrelle Willis, on his lack of success recently: “Until I do it, I don’t think people want to hear me make excuses. Man, I stunk.”

Source: Detroit News

n British fisherman Glen Kerley, after finding a lost cellphone in the belly of a 25-pound cod: "Cod are greedy fish — they'll eat anything. They have big heads and big mouths. I've found plastic cups, stones, teaspoons, batteries, and I've also heard of someone finding false teeth in one. It was a bit smelly, but I was glad to return it."

Source: The Sun of London

n Danica Patrick: “I love tattoos, actually . . . Something that is that meaningful that it’s there forever. Man, if I got another one . . . I want something with words in it next time. Mine is a checkered flag-American flag with some angel wings and some stars and stuff.”

Source: Fanhouse.com

RETURN TO TOP

 

n R.C. Thieleman, who spent 12 years as NFL lineman, during his induction speech at the Arkansas Hall of Fame: "My wife's a vegetarian, but cows get scared when I walk by."

Source: Seattle Times

n Matt Kenseth, on his celebration plans after winning the Daytona 500: "Man, I'm going to paint the town plaid."

Source: Orlando Sentinel

n Texas Tech coach Pat Knight on Oklahoma's Blake Griffin: "Ever see that movie 'The Terminator'? That's what that kid is like. Every kid I put on him was like Sarah Connor" Source: Tulsa World Johnny Damon: "A-Rod could have done worse, he could have murdered someone"

Source: Boston Globe

n Comedy writer Jerry Perisho, on the UCLA administration's next task for the two professors who say they've pinpointed Osama bin Laden's whereabouts using satellite imagery: "Find a 7-footer who can shoot and rebound." Source: Los Angeles Times 49ers coach Mike Singletary, meeting with season-ticket holders, on the kind of team mentality he's trying to build: "Physical with an F!"

Source: San Jose Mercury News

n Twins catcher Joe Mauer, on the memorable offseason nuptials of first baseman Justin Morneau: "His was the first wedding I've ever been to where they played AC/DC."

Source: Minneapolis Star Tribune

n Alicia Gatto, co-owner of a bowling alley in Frankfort, N.Y., where 150 bowling balls went missing during operating hours (they were found the next day, stuffed into the ball-retrieval tracks under the lanes), an event that led to media inundated Thurston’s Bowling Alley with calls: "All I can say at this point is that I am all talked out. But I will say this: I am sick of hearing about bowling balls."

Source: Herkimer Evening Telegram

n Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg on spring training: "There is nothing like the sound of the crack of bat, the smack of the ball hitting the mitt, the smell of fresh mown grass, the pop of the plunger coming out of the syringe."

Source: Seattle Times

n Former Red Sox pitcher Dennis “Oil Can” Boyd, who believes he can still pitch in the majors after an 18-year retirement: “After surgery in ‘87, it took me 10 years to feel good. I wasn’t on the field, started gaining weight. All of a sudden, my arm has healed. The arm strength is there and it’s there consistently. The more I throw, the better it feels.”

Source: Boston Globe

n Former NFL head coach and offensive coordinator Mike Martz, who is unemployed despite have a Super Bowl title on his resume: “People are determined to keep me out of the league. It’s been going on for three years and at this point, I can’t fight it. I just can’t fight it. Three years of people putting it out there that I’m a high-maintenance lunatic.”

Source: NBC.com

n Michigan cheerleader Tomi Tomson, lists her “biggest cheer superstition” as don’t ever eat McDonald’s chicken nuggets before a game: “During my freshman year at the Michigan vs. Michigan State game, I ate a lot of McDonald's chicken nuggets for breakfast. I was running late, so I had to run around to find my team. I started feeling sick, and by the second quarter I was throwing up on the sidelines.”

Source: SI.com

n Royals outfielder Jose Guillen, who performed minor surgery on himself to remove an ingrown toenail: “Let me tell you, I cried. I had one tough hour. But I got it out. I reached in there (with the tweezers), and poked around until I got the end of it. Then I counted one, two, three and just pulled …. Oh, my God. It came out, but tears were running down my cheeks."

Source: Kansas City Star

n George Mason University senior/drag queen Ryan Allen, who was named the school’s homecoming queen while in character as his female self, Reann, describing his alter ego: "Reann is very sassy, very silly. She's an entertainer throughout. She's not afraid to do a high kick if that's what it takes. She's got a little camp but is not as campy as some queens."

Source: Associated Press

n Johnny Damon, who had bank accounts frozen by the federal government as a result of investing in a company owned by disgraced financier Robert Stanford: “I can't pay bills right now. That started on Tuesday. I had to pay a trainer for working out during the offseason. I told him, 'Just hold on for a little bit and hopefully all this stuff gets resolved.'"

Source: Tampa Tribune

n Donna Powell, a ticket-taker for British soccer club Fisher Athletic, on earning the right to manage the team in one game by raising 500 pounds for the struggling team: "I am confident I can do well - I already run a boys' football team. I am no shrinking violet and do not suffer fools lightly."

Source: BBC Sport

n Scott Brewer, a high school teacher and coach in the Charlotte, N.C., area, on the problem with schools saving money by playing four basketball games in one night, keeping kids and coaches out late: “That teacher who coaches is so fatigued that they're affecting 90 to 100 kids because they're too dad-gum tired to teach. So it's video day or worksheet day, especially for somebody who teaches, say, English or Chemistry. And even a P.E. teacher will just sit on their can and roll the balls out."

Source: Charlotte Observer

n Veteran alligator wrestler Paul Simmons, explaining the rules of competitive deep-water gator-wrestling prior to a contest in South Florida: ''I don't want to see no hitting the alligator, no jabbing the alligator. Don't disrespect the alligator.''

Source: Miami Herald

n British boxer Sarah Blewden, who was banned from competing after getting breast implants: “I think it is just ridiculous. Women haven't been allowed to box for that long and this is an obstacle I want to get over so other women like me won't have the same problem.”

Source: Daily Mail of London

n Columnist Gary Loewen, after British boxer Sarah Blewden was barred because of her breast implants: "In related news, Colin Montgomerie will be allowed to continue golfing."

Source: Toronto Sun

n Former White Sox slugger Ron Kittle, on steroids tattletale Jose Canseco: “My first thought was: ‘I wonder who’s going to be the first one to shoot him. I still think somebody who might have had their life ruined might take vengeance on him. If I were him, I would think about that.”

Source: Chicago Tribune

n Trash-talking Argentinian boxer Jorge Barrios, on Venezuelan boxer Edwin Valero: “Valero is a long-haired prostitute and a communist. After I finish with 'Famoso,' I will beat the s*** out of Valero. Then I will cut his hair and make him into a man."

Source: BoxingScene.com

n Redskins tight end Chris Cooley, writing about the first time he saw the former Redskins cheerleader who recently became his wife: “If looks were bait then I was hooked. She dressed to make men panic.”

Source: Chriscooley47.com

n Former presidential candidate John Kerry was asked what he would choose if he could be president and had only enough time to make one executive decision: “Any opposing player who sacks, tackles, touches, breathes on or looks directly at Tom Brady is declared an enemy combatant.”

Source: Yahoo.com

n Pop star and Cincinnati native Nick Lachey, on being chosen to throw out the first pitch at the Reds’ season opener: "Anybody who grew up in Cincinnati knows this is one of the biggest honors you can get.”

Source: Cincinnati Enquirer

n Heat coach Erik Spoelstra when asked what kind of food he likes: "I don't eat much since I took this job.”

Source: South Florida Sun-Sentinel

n Chicago guard Derrick Rose after the Bulls became the first no championship team to visit the White House: "It was crazy just being here. I've never had the chance to be at the White House, but the President gave us the opportunity to come so that's what we did. I was nervous just to stand next to him, but then for someone like him to even know my name was just amazing."

Source: NBA.com